garrett (after i ordered a kangaroo burger at ziggy’s): i don’t get kangaroos. i think they should be called kickaroos. they don’t kang you.
me: do they kick you?
garrett: well they freak me out. i don’t understand how an animal has a pocket in there and keeps its young and then kicks you.
me: i don’t know… how do they find it?
garrett: they probably have a gps system. “destination, pocket lane, melbourne, australia”
me: they have an iphone. “to: pocket; from: vagina.”
15 minutes later

baby kangaroo and dog
server (giving me my kangaroo burger): who had the joey?
me and garrett: huh?
server: the joey. it’s the name of a baby kangaroo.
me: … is it really made of a joey?
server: well that’s just what they call a baby kangaroo
me: yeah but is the burger really made of a joey?
server: no
me: oh my gosh! that’s horrible. you’re a bad, bad man!
30 seconds later

welcome to the land down under, bia
me (about to eat a kangaroo burger at ziggy’s): oh is this one of those things that the bible said we can’t eat?
garrett: what?
me: y’know.. we can’t eat animals that eat other animals… and they have to be hoofed.
garrett: what do their feet look like? i really don’t know. do they wear jordans?
me: you mean they don’t wear pumas?
garrett: no because that’s another animal. they wear jordans.
me: i think they wear roos.
find out what else they have there and have your own hilarious conversations by going to the ziggy’s healthy grill website