you’re a hater, verizon and i don’t like you

when i was a junior in high school, i got into a car accident and my mom decided to give me a cell phone in case of any other emergencies from that point on. for the next year, i had a contract with verizon and i hated it. at the time, it was expensive and had very few minutes. the following year, i made the switch to voicestream (now called t-mobile) and i have been a faithful customer ever since. not even the iphone can lure me away from t-mobile’s reasonably priced plans. instead, i had my boyfriend unlock an iphone for me so that i can use it with my service (until it went awol on me).

i’m glad i didn’t stick with verizon for long. they’re trifling. and they’re trying to hit a man up for an $18k bill. jigga what? excuse you, verizon. you should know better than to do this. in fact, you should notify any customer you have of unusual activity on their accounts. it’s just good practice. i’m gonna be so sad if verizon gets the iphone. they don’t deserve to still be in the running to becoming america’s next iphone provider. tyra doesn’t think that’s fierce.

can you hear me now?

bye bye facebook… or not really

Reynaldo: sorry I fell asleep last night. sorry i had you worried

Ibarra: aren’t you supposed to be working?

Reynaldo: multi tasking

Ibarra: …i don’t see the point of deleting your iphone facebook app if you’re on facebook on your computer

Reynaldo: i deleted it cause I’m on it at work, and then i get on it at home. I figure being on it at work is enough.

Ibarra: haha

Reynaldo: i guess the logical thing would be to get off of it at work and get on at home

Ibarra: …or being on it at home
haha
this sounds like a new blog post

 

 

kangaroo for dinner, hold the vegemite.

garrett (after i ordered a kangaroo burger at ziggy’s): i don’t get kangaroos. i think they should be called kickaroos. they don’t kang you.

me: do they kick you?

garrett: well they freak me out. i don’t understand how an animal has a pocket in there and keeps its young and then kicks you.

me: i don’t know… how do they find it?

garrett: they probably have a gps system. “destination, pocket lane, melbourne, australia

me: they have an iphone. “to: pocket; from: vagina.”

15 minutes later

baby kangaroo and dog

baby kangaroo and dog

server (giving me my kangaroo burger): who had the joey?

me and garrett: huh?

server: the joey. it’s the name of a baby kangaroo.

me: … is it really made of a joey?

server: well that’s just what they call a baby kangaroo

me: yeah but is the burger really made of a joey?

server: no

me: oh my gosh! that’s horrible. you’re a bad, bad man!

30 seconds later

welcome to the down under, bia

welcome to the land down under, bia

me (about to eat a kangaroo burger at ziggy’s): oh is this one of those things that the bible said we can’t eat?

garrett: what?

me: y’know.. we can’t eat animals that eat other animals… and they have to be hoofed.

garrett: what do their feet look like? i really don’t know. do they wear jordans?

me: you mean they don’t wear pumas?

garrett: no because that’s another animal. they wear jordans.

me: i think they wear roos.

It's a Joeyburger!

It's a Joeyburger!

find out what else they have there and have your own hilarious conversations by  going to the ziggy’s healthy grill website