dear diary…

april has been a trying month, to say the least.

on a whim, i began to go through some of the folders on my computer and stumbled upon one called “spiritual diary.” three years ago, i kept a diary to chronicle my road of spirituality. most of them are deeply personal but in anticipation of my fast this coming friday, i will share one of the less personal ones on here:

October 9, 2006

I’ve falsified to say that I’ve found God.
Several years ago, that’s how I used to sing that line in one of Jason Mraz’s songs.
For several months now, I’ve listened to almost nothing but Christian music and I do quite regret not being able to see Chris Tomlin last night at CityFest. However, today, as a change of pace, I listened to some of my old music. It might have been an effort in re-living some of the more familiar moments in my life. Things were not less hectic, but at least then I had gotten a grip on how to manage.
I popped in an unmarked cd on the drive home and it was a mix of Jason Mraz and Matt Wertz. Now, I like Matt Wertz but between the two, my heart will always belong to Jason Mraz. His style is much more experimental, his music much more innovative and lyrics incredibly more thought-provoking. It’s the writer in me that draws me to him. Jason Mraz is a wordsmith and a way with words is a quick way to my heart.
So often, I write about my struggles with my faith which is unfortunate because one of the functions of this diary is to recount every step in my journey—the hardships as well as the times of clarities. To depict only one side would be unfair and unbalanced, which certainly will not do. After all, I’m a Libra. I want to read this years from now and have a complete picture of my experiences.
On Love, In Sadness” speaks to me in so many ways, especially with what I’ve learned these past few months and what I’m trying to learn now. The measure of love isn’t loss, love will never be lost on me.
Anyway, that is not how the song goes, y’know.
It’s not falsified to say that I’ve found God.

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how to become a superhero

over a month ago, i tweeted about how i would fashion some wolverine claws out of plexiglass. a friend of mine, abu, was having a superhero costume party (where i met SG) and he was going as wolverine. i, of course, took this as an opportunity to get away from my boring science and math classes for getting some creative injected in my otherwise creative-less life.

i spent several days drawing up all kinds of sketches and plans, some even including degrees of angles (what the frak?). my original plans involved the use of some wood and a mat board, which abu and i got from a local art store. abu later expressed his doubts in using the mat board so i sought the help of an industrial designer friend of mine on the best way to approach this. he recommended using polythyrene and said that i can probably get some scraps from one of the plastics companies in town and that maybe they’ll have other recommendations for the kind of material to use. so armed with my backpack and sketchbook, i marched into regal plastics the next day in between classes.

one of the many sketches i made, but certainly the most hilarious

one of the many sketches i made, but certainly the most hilarious

 

i explained to the man behind the counter what the situation was and he said that polythyrene would be too flimsy for what i was trying to do and that he’d recommend that i use plexiglass, of which they have a lot. thus began an adventure that took me to home depot, a place that cuts plastics and plexiglass, hobby lobby, bering’s hardware and a 4 AM visit to my parents’ house to get one of my art tool boxes. in the meantime, abu’s homework was to figure out a way to drill into plexiglass without cracking it. 

(side note: everyone that i talked to from all of these places was so nice and helpful but none was more helpful than the man from bering’s hardware. we spent a good 45 minutes walking around the store and formulating a plan on the best way to do this. he was almost as enthusiastic about this project as i was. i should go back there and show him the finished product)

so that thursday, i got to abu’s place and after an hour or so of some test drilling and sawing (that summer of jewelry making and metalsmithing actually came in handy), we quickly realized that doing this the rock-your-socks-off way would take more time than we realized so i re-explained my original plan of using the mat board to abu and of course, he had no other choice but to accept it. actually, we had to put our ideas together because i have to give him credit for wanting to use the hanger wire. we ended up working on the claws until after the sun set which was actually pretty nice since we were in his backyard and the weather wasn’t too shabby.

enjoy the photos!

 

we used my wood for sanding and hanger wire to attach the claws

we used my wood for sanding and his hanger wire to attach the claws

 

 

this is what you get when wolverine actually ages.

this is what you get when wolverine actually ages.

 

 

the planning was my job, the grunt work was his

yeah i was playing on my iphone... the planning was my job, the grunt work was his

 

 

we double layered the mat board for the claws.

we double layered the mat board for the claws.

 

 

grr! grr...? arf!

grr! grr...? arf!

 

 

aww, i made the little prince do some manual labor. he's a flimsy little guy.

aww, i made the little prince do some manual labor. he's a flimsy little guy.

 

 

i let him do all the spray painting, i wasn't going to get my outfit covered in paint.

i let him do all the spray painting, i wasn't about to get my outfit covered in paint.

 

 

see how dark it was when we finished?

see how dark it was when we finished?

 

 

yeah i don't know why the wood pieces were positioned differently...

yeah i don't know why the wood pieces were positioned differently...

 

wolverine and storm

as leader of the gold team, i outrank wolverine... but he's some sort of maverick. he's john mccain. also, too, does that make me sarah palin?

 

 

yeah i just wanted to show off my storm costume.

yeah i just wanted to show off my storm costume. in yo face, halle berry!

 

 

super tiny because it was nabbed from abu's facebook

nabbed from abu's facebook

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

maybe i can talk abu into dressing up as wolverine again for a midnight showing of x-men origins: wolverine… or maybe we can just get the bobo leaked version and have our own private opening night with 200 of his closest friends.

speaking of the wolverine movie, i was a little peeved that the storm cameo that we saw in the trailer was cut out of the final edit. boo hiss.

 

 

wolverine

x-men origins: wolverine

The Body

I don’t understand. I don’t understand how this all happens. How we go through this. I mean I knew her, and then she’s, there’s just a body, and I don’t understand why she can’t just get back in it and not be dead anymore. It’s stupid. It’s mortal and stupid, and, and Xander crying and not talking, and I was having fruit punch and I thought, well, Joyce will never have any more fruit punch, ever. And she’ll never have eggs, or yawn, or brush her hair, not ever and no one will explain to me why.

–Anya, Buffy the Vampire Slayer

For the full episode of The Body

faith

when i visited my family in the philippines two years ago, i accompanied my cousins to their bible school in baguio city for a few days (if you’ve never been there, you must go! it’s not as dirty as manila and it’s a hundred times more beautiful). i spent a lot of time sitting on the rooftop just thinking and meditating. it’s always good to step out of yourself and see the world for what it really is:

beautiful yeah? imagine actually seeing it in person.

sunset in baguio. imagine actually seeing it in person.

shinobu was a japanese missionary that i met when i was there. she and i spent a lot of time together. i walked out into the common area and found her playing worship songs on her guitar on the floor so i filmed her: